Being 3 is hard

My poor princess. She is trying to figure it all out. We are at a stage right now where we are playing with eliminating her nap. Sometimes it works well, but sometimes, like all of us on less than usual sleep, she is a little hard to handle. I hope she knows that even when I am being stern with her, I love her dearly and everything I do I am hoping helps to shape her into a well adjusted young woman.

I love you angel <3

What's in my purse?

Look at me blogging 3 days in a row ;)

I have seen this themed post done on different blogs I read, and I decided to do it too - wanted something kind of fun to post about!

I included everything, except for the pile of random, crumpled receipts from the bottom :P

I forgot to take a pic of my purse, but it is still on the Payless website - it is an American Eagle cross body bag, and I loved the price. I love it because it is really roomy, so it can double as a diaper bag when I run errands. Also, I found after having kids, a cross body bag is necessary when carrying babies or holding toddler hands... regular purses fall off my shoulder and drive me nuts! (or accidentally hit little toddlers at the bottom of the arm!) :)

Here are my current contents: 

Okay, so let's go over this...

Section 1: If I am reading something, I always keep the book/ereader in my bag - with the kids I have to be a bit of an opportunist, and read when I magically find a free moment. Right now I am reading The No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley. I am trying to figure out SOMETHING that will help my little guy's bad sleep habits, and I don't believe in the "Cry-It-Out" method. Behind that is Secrets of the Baby Whisperer by Tracy Hogg. I read that one back in June, but I keep it handy for reference. I didn't need a SINGLE bit of 'help' with Hannah... with Max I feel like I have read and researched every book on the market!

Section 2: My wallet. Pretty straightforward. It isn't some fancy brand name or anything. I think I got it from Zellers. My USB cord for my cell phone - I work between 3 computers so I like to have it handy. Magic gloves, because it is getting chilly, and some Canadian Tire money... bought some window sealer ;)

Section 3: This is my 'necessity' pile. My 'every day' makeup, minus my bronzer (left it in the car... I am a rear-view mirror makeup applier), 2 Sharpies (because one isn't enough?) and a pen, my glasses, ear buds,  hair band and elastic, puffers (I am a life long asthmatic. The blue one is a rescue inhaler, and the orange one is a maintenance medicine... I take it every day and I am almost normal!) - the cigarettes I KNOW don't 'go' with the puffers.... I was a smoker, and I quit for both pregnancies, and I have remained *almost* quit since Max was born.... I have ONE at night after he is in bed. I don't normally carry them and I can't exactly figure out why they are in there... but I am not about to hide anything :) - and finally a random tartar sauce. This is the best tartar sauce in the world! And whenever we pick up fish and chips, whoever goes is responsible for LOADING their purse/pockets with it. Apparently there was a straggler from last week :P

Section 4: I call this my "mama" section. 2 Bibs, a snack bag with baby cereal + a spoon, Mum-Mums and a Dora fruit snack. I usually have a jar of baby food in there too but it got used. I am always prepared :P

The only thing not pictured is my phone. I always have my phone! But it is also currently my only camera :P so I couldn't do both :)

If anyone else has done this sort of post, or becomes inspired to do so, please share a link in the comments!I I'd love to see :)

Pure Bliss

I have a very wakeful 9 month old boy. His sleep habits (or lack thereof) should have sent me to an institution a long, long time ago. But I press on. There isn't much a mother wouldn't do for her child's happiness. I get a number of extra bonding sessions with this little guy every night. I nurse him to sleep (and I don't need preaching, I am happy with my parenting choices). Sometimes, on nights like tonight, I use the time to really look at him, and appreciate what I have in front of me. He is so amazing. Seriously the cutest little guy on this earth. He is so happy, and loves me SO much. Just now, as I watched him fall out of this world, and into dream world, my heart melted. I watched his little face twitch as he started to have a dream :P - then I saw big dreamland smiles come over his face, accompanied by little giggles. Nothing better than knowing first hand that your child is having those sweet dreams you always tell them to :)
I hope that my big girl down the hall is having just as wonderful a dream as her baby brother :) I hope they dream about playing together :) - I hope they always love each other as much as they do now !
I am lucky.

These photos are unrelated to sleep, but I had to show off a lil :)

Hannah Cam

Sometimes, you just have to let your 3 year old have your smart phone to see what they come up with!

I miss my blog

When we moved, blogging ended up on the back burner a bit. Life became so busy - Max hit the age where he was no longer content to just lay in his playpen or chill in his bounce chair. Plus I think living with my Mom forced me to get up and be busier than I may have been if I was on my own. Which is obviously a good thing, as much as I would love to laze it up sometimes.
I guess I've been less inspired too. Im grateful and happy to be here, but when you're not in your own space I find its hard to get your creative juices flowing.

This blog is so random too. I would love to find a central focus and have this thing take off. It gets difficult to justify typing to no one. what convinces me to do it honestly is in the hope that one day I might make something out of this page, and a reader might look for old posts. Sorry future reader,.I'm not too thrilling!

I have been feeling slightly more inspired lately though. Reading blogs and discovering new ones. Makes me want to rethink everything and find my niche. I might just have to allow it more time in my head, and stop putting it on the barnburner.

Well this was a random rambling. But I wanted to post something and I did.
I hear a picture helps... So here is one of my boy and i... I am determined to take a good one of Hannah and I too... She just always has ants in her pants :P ... And if I'm not aiming too high, the 3 of us :P

Exercise?

Hello again!

So I am still on this getting healthy "kick" - I have never in my life stuck to any form of diet for more than a week before - I have been making healthier choices exclusively (not just limited to buying low fat salad dressing lol) for 3 1/2 weeks now. I am feeling so proud of myself, without even knowing if i have lost any weight or inches, I continue to feel motivated just because of how far I've taken it so far. I have tried foods I never thought I would try (or heard of!) and explored new recipes to get out of my comfort zone. I feel good that I am sharing these choices with my kids as well.

I know that I have a tendency to skip lunch (or sometimes breakfast) trying to save time, and in doing so I cause myself to snack excessively. I have curbed the snacking by keeping less junk round, and by reminding myself that it is my downfall, but in return I am not eating. So to combat the skipped meals, lost calories (I need those for the big baby Max who still relies on me for food) and lost nutrients and vitamins, I decided to try this smoothie recipe I found on Pinterest.

"My Top Secret Diet Weapon" 

From a blog called Iowa Girl Eats she claims that this smoothie called "The Green Monster" is her secret diet weapon. Promises that it does NOT taste healthy at all, despite being FULL of spinach! I was intrigued - so I read all of the ingredients, sounded simple enough. I didn't have almond milk or spinach on hand, but a pretty simple trip to the store.

I made it this morning for breakfast and I followed everything to a T.... I thought that for a drink with THAT much spinach in it, it tasted pretty damn good! It obviously wasn't as sweet as a smoothie made with juice and milk would be, but definitely yummy enough to replace my cereal!

My only issue was that I found the taste of peanut butter to overpowering. I considered trying a different nut butter, but when I went to pick up a tiny little jar of almond butter for $7, I decided against it! So tomorrow I am just going to omit the peanut butter, and maybe add some more fruit instead. (Going for kiwi over raspberries... I don't think I would like it if i turned the Green Monster brown :P)

Any smoothie tips? Add ons that you like?

--

I will also chime in here about exercising because i titled this post 'Exercise?' so I guess I should talk about it.

Exercise and I are not friends. Never have been. I am hoping, however, that we can become friends in the future. Rather than talking about it, I finally did something other than a short walk to the park.

I went out last night after the kids were in bed and did a speed walk around my neighbourhood - just up and down streets, keeping it close in case Steve called saying I needed to come back. Then I picked a few secluded side streets to jog down! (Didn't want anyone to see me!) Considering my shape and weight I think I did great! And I went out again tonight despite my legs hurting! I am semi following this:

Running for Beginners

The pin is from a tumblr account and the original post was long lost.. so if it's yours show me where to properly link it please!

Anyways, I have added the little bits of jogging mostly to just see if I can do it.. but I think that is a decent guideline. I can't follow it exclusively because winter is coming so I am thinking if it gets to the point where I cannot jog in the winter I will try indoor videos instead. 

But I don't need to be getting ahead of myself! The fact that I went out two nights in a row is surprising enough! :)

My Attempt at Getting Healthy

It is no secret that I am overweight. I have always had poor eating habits, and rarely exercise. This has resulted is low self confidence/self esteem, low energy and ridiculous amounts of laziness. I have always hated the way I am. I felt like I was a bad influence on my kids. Feeding them the healthiest food, while I make poor choices for myself. "Do as I say not as I do" mentality. My problem is that I don't know how to eat better. I don't know what to put in my grocery cart. What the heck is quinoa? Are potatoes bad for me? What am I even looking for on these nutrition information labels?

At the end of the summer, Steve and I took the kids to the park, and snapped this photo of me:

When I saw that I couldn't believe what I saw. I knew I didn't look great, but I didn't think I looked like THAT. That is the photo that did it. I was mortified and disgusted honestly. 

Again, I didn't know where to start. Asking advice on facebook just confused me even more. "Cut out carbs" "watch your calories" "join weight watchers" "don't eat meat". SO much advice. It was all great advice, and everyone had their stories as to why their route was the best route. Still didn't help me much. Did you know everything awesome has carbs? I am a lover of the creamy, of the deep fried! How can I do this?

Thank goodness for my old high school friend. She created a group called "Healthy Mamas" on facebook. A group for just some local friends (and friends of friends) who have kids (most of us aged 3 or younger) who want to begin or maintain a healthy lifestyle. This group couldn't have come at a more perfect moment. It is a private group so nobody has to see what we type or what we post. We do nothing but support each other, cheer each other on, and post great tips and advice. It has given me the confidence to try. It has given me the support of fellow mothers who understand my lifestyle, and I don't have that any place else.

Before I found out that I was pregnant with Max, a girl at work and I were on a website called Lose It. It is a calorie counting weight loss program. You put in your (realistic) goals for weight loss, and the website gives you a daily calorie limit. According to the website, if you follow your calorie intake limit (plus exercise) you should reach your goal by a certain date. I stopped when I got pregnant, but I decided to start it up again. I figure counting calories is a great place for me to begin, and as I learn, I can adjust my diet/lifestyle to suit the new things I discover.

So I will say that i "technically" began my "diet" on September 17th 2012. That is when I decided to start logging my calories again on Lose It.com. 

My first issue was that I did not own a scale. So my initial numbers have been guesses. NOW I AM GOING TO BE TRUTHFUL!! Lol.. as much as it hurts, I will post my real numbers (because who reads this blog anyways? ;) honestly)

I had not weighed myself since before Max was born. If I remember correctly I was about 285/290lbs (I know.)

My educated guess for my current weight was 260lbs. I am nursing which helped me drop a lot, but I didn't think I could have lost much more than that. Well after being on my diet for 2 weeks, it was very frustrating to not know if it was even doing anything. (According to my calorie guide, I should be losing 2lbs a week)

Yesterday I stopped by my grandma's house and hopped on the scale. I was SHOCKED! I actually weigh 245lbs! Still nothing to brag about, but it sure felt good to know that I weighed 15lbs less than I thought I did! Now that still doesn't help me in knowing if my diet is working, but I know that when I check again in a week I will have some idea. It also feels great to know I am that much closer to my goal without even doing anything :P

So I have put my goal weight at 185lbs. I think that is attainable. But I am way less concerned about that number than I am about the size of my clothes. That goal is to be able to go to any store in the mall to go shopping. I want to be able to buy jeans ANYWHERE. Not just the plus size stores. I miss the mall. The last time I went shopping in the mall I left feeling pretty depressed. 

My exercise goal is to get to a point where I am a jogger/runner. I want to love it. I want to want to run.

My number one goal however, is to be a good example for my kids. I want to find the energy to play with them whenever they want. I want to run with them and live life with them. I want them to want to be just like me.

If anyone wishes to join me on Lose It my username is whatsupashley :)