Sunday, November 18, 2012

I exist!

I was just going to go up to bed and not post tonight because I wasn't feeling inspired, but if I decided not to post every time I didn't feel inspired to write, I would never write. I like blogging and sometimes I just need to start and a post will come from it.

I had an anonymous comment on one of my posts the other day suggesting that my blog would be a lot better if I included more photos. I don't know why the comment is gone now, but I always appreciate feedback. My first thought was "Hmm I try to always add a photo" but I thought that maybe they meant photos of me? I guess I will never know, but if that IS what they meant, it's true! I don't post many photos of me. I have been trying to be in more photos ever since I read this article (and I think every other mom out there read that article and thought the same thing), but I don't ever consider them worthy of posting on a public forum! The shots of me rarely make my facebook newsfeed, let alone my blog haha. I have been trying though, for my kids. I was hoping that new outlook in the subject would maybe encourage me to 'try' harder and be more photo ready through the day. But honestly, I am lucky if I can get a shower. I'm home with the two kids all day and there is so much more to spend this precious time on. (Plus, I am not one of those lucky girls who can 'wash & go' with their hair! My hair requires LOTS of attention before I can 'go' :P)

That being said, after I read that comment, and thought about it, I decided I should be more present in my online space. I used to plaster my photos all over my facebook. It's like I had kids and they became my face.  And it's funny, the few times I do decide to throw a photo of me as my profile picture I feel guilty! Isn't that strange? I have become that mom who bombards her news feed with photo after photo of her kids! (And I will continue to, I am proud of those little guys and I have lots and lots of family near and over seas that like to keep up with them - I have been vocal about how I won't stop and if you don't like it, delete me lol) But I still am Ashley, and I should be proud enough of that to show myself off, not just my kiddos.

So this weekend, knowing we were going to have a little family time, I put Steve in charge of the babes and I spent an extra few minutes to style my hair and threw some makeup on. I still took more pics of the kids than myself, but I got in some worth sharing :) I'll be doing another post about our weekend tomorrow, so there will be more to see then.

I am Ashley! I still get zits and I hate it. My hair is ridiculous. It is thick and long and frizzy and curly and unruly. I hate it most days. But when I can take the time to style it, I am so thankful for all of it! I am overweight but slowly improving. I am so constantly inspired to create; be it crafts, painting, writing, design... but I can never turn that inspiration into anything so it just stews. I am a mom and I love it. I love girls nights and date nights. I love Steve. I love my family, but only the ones who care. I miss my London family every day and I hate that I can't visit more often. I am 27 and I think I am still finding myself. And posting these photos makes me uncomfortable haha (my inner monologue; "now people are going to think I think i look good in these photos and that i am trying to show off" lol I need help) - I still love BSB and AJ... I think if I was single I would have his poster up in my room :P ... and Russel Brand....

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